When it comes to eggs, I’m like Bubba in Forest Gump. I like them any way, any time, any place. There are very few dishes that can’t be improved with the addition of a fried or poached egg. Hamburger? Oh, you’d better believe it. Pork belly? Upscale eggs and bacon. Salad? That thing probably needed more protein anyways.

The humble egg is also the backbone of other delicious things. Homemade mayonnaise and Hollandaise both have an egg as their backbone, and without an egg, cakes and brownies would be nothing. Kitchen science nerds have gone to great lengths measuring and perfecting the cooking of an egg, finding the right temperature for a firm white but a runny yolk.

This is basically our new Apollo project.

When given the chance, I’d eat eggs three meals a day. In fact, when I lived alone the year after college, I basically did that. On toast, by themselves, or mixed in with some rice, a single egg can give a whole meal a new flavor.

A few nights ago, Lovely Wife and I went with some of her work friends to a place in Dallas called The Porch. We’d never wandered in before, if only because it’s right across the street from one of our favorite places, and if we’re going to make the 30 minute drive, we go to Victor Tango’s instead.

At The Porch, they have a burger that they call the “Stodg Burger.” For those of you who don’t want to peruse the menu, I’ll lift the important bits.

Aged Cheddar, Nueske’s Bacon, Fried Egg & LTMO on Foie Buttered Bun

Let’s take this bit by bit. Aged Cheddar is awesome, but let’s be honest, not really groundbreaking for a burger. Bacon? Cool, everything’s better with bacon. A fried egg! That’s the sign that we’re on to something. Without a runny, yolky fried egg, this thing falls apart. And finally, the coup de grace, a foie buttered bun. Foie gras? On my bun? The most delicious substance known to man paired with the egg, the second most delicious substance known to man?

I shaved 2 weeks off of my life with this burger. And considering how many times I’ve been to the Texas State Fair, I’m not sure how many weeks I’ve trimmed. It was entirely worth it, though. The silkiness of the yolk along with the strength of the foie was a punch in the mouth that I won’t soon forget. The egg was the heavy lifter, though. It was the glue that held the burger together outside and inside of my stomach. Culinary spackle.

Professional food philosopher and ass Anthony Bourdain once said, “I’m a total egg slut.” He mentions that anything with a well cooked, runny fried egg on top makes anything better. He’s on record as saying that Eggs Benedict is the best hangover food in the world. For a long time, I was never sure what he was talking about,but that’s because I’d never truly embraced the egg beyond its scrambled beginnings.

Poached, fried, over easy, over medium, sunny side up, blindfolded.

Lovely Wife and I joined a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) group for the season, which will be the subject of an upcoming post. The important thing is that the also sell farm fresh eggs. I convinced her to buy me a dozen for about $5, and let me tell you, the dark yolks were unlike any store-bought egg I’ve ever had. While we’re not going to make a habit of buying expensive huevos, these are the kinds of eggs that make me want them on everything.

This is my love note to eggs. If you have eggs in your fridge, add them to something tonight. Making a sandwich? Pop a fried egg on that. Having a delicious piece of chicken. Egg it, my man. Ice cream sandwich? What the hell.

Eat an egg on something delicious and make it even more so.

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3 Responses to Eggs

  1. SN_Cong says:

    $5 for 12 eggs isn’t exactly breaking the bank, Mr. ‘I Could Buy an iPad Tomorrow Therefore Tech Gadgets Don’t Motivate Me.’ We’ve switched to cage-free eggs and I would gladly pay another dollar if I could find a convenient place for farm-fresh. Try out this beer analogy:

    Regular eggs :: Miller High Life but made by Chinese political prisoners
    Cage-Free :: Sam Adams or New Belguim, etc
    Farm Fresh :: a fresh growler. Just as delicious yet inconvenient unless you have the right hookup/geography…which it seems you do.

    Don’t you deserve the growler?

  2. AbbieBabble says:

    That burger may have clogged your arteries, sure, but think about how many months it added to your life in HAPPINESS.

    I’m already getting like ninety percent of my protein from fried eggs, but now I want to go make one right this second. And eat it on a burger. Mmmmmmmmmm.

  3. Bernice Vilassakdanont says:

    I could not agree with you more about eggs!!! One of the Japanese post docs I worked with said he liked to beat some eggs and season with a little soy sauce and then pour it over hot rice and mix it all up. The heat from the rice cooks the eggs and the eggs coat the rice… like carbonara. sprinkle some scallions or whatev and voila deliciousness.

    Also, onsen tamago is pretty cool although I have yet to do it successfully

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