Brand Spankin’ New

As I lamented the other day, my laptop was on its last legs. It was making noises, being depressed, and asking for a priest. That kind of thing doesn’t pass muster with me, especially in that I’m sort of, kind of, maybe, ok absolutely addicted to my tech. If my laptop went down, and I didn’t have a back up, I’d probably either be: a) the most productive man alive, or b) a murderous, homicidal man. Either way, I think we can all agree that neither of those options are good for me. I wouldn’t want to upset the natural balance of things.

I went about ordering a new laptop, asking questions, and seeing what people generally thought about such things. I realized (sadly) that I’m no longer the PC gamer that I once was, and that the cash I’d have to put into a machine to get decent gaming capabilities were no longer worth it. Sigh. That meant, though, that I had plenty more options when it came to getting something new.

I know that no one gives a damn about the actual specs of the machine, but let’s just say that I got a new Lenovo ThinkPad (thanks to a generous employee discount provided to me by an awesome friend). Seeing as the last new piece of laptop technology I’ve dealt with was cutting edge in the year 2006 (early 2006, even), I’ve missed several things in the meantime. Not to sound like a crabby old man, but what is this Windows 7 crap? Where’s all of my stuff? Why’d the cost of onions go up? Who’s president now?

It’s enough to make me want to downgrade back to XP so I can figure out what the hell is going on. Sure, it looks pretty, but so do candied apples – and those bastards crack teeth left and right.

Every laptop is set up slightly different. Spacing between keys, location of certain keys, touch pad sensitivity, etc. Unfortunately, now I feel like I need to go back to “Reader Rabbit Teaches Typing” because I can’t seem to go more than a few words without some grievous misspelling because my fingers don’t quite hit the correct keys. I’m about 3 seconds away from going back to one-fingered typing in an attempt to increase my accuracy.

With all of my bitching (and let’s be honest, if you read my archives, you know how much I love to bitch about various things), I do love my new little piece of technology – and I do mean little. The screen is a little under 15 inches – my last behemoth was over 17. This thing also feels as light as a feather; my old monster weighed enough to serious screw with my shoulders and back when I tried to actually carry it anywhere. This new puppy feels like it wants to be taken places and moved around. My old laptop feels sort of like me – happy where it is, and really unhappy to be moved anywhere else.

I’m slowly but surely getting everything back to the way it “should” be. Whenever you acquire a new piece of technology, there’s always that delightful “getting to know you” period wherein you change settings, get angry that you can’t make things the way they used to be, and then get lazy and adapt to whatever the current situation is. Right now, it feels like I just want to fuss with every setting until it’s all just like I want it – mouse sensitivity, backgrounds, icon locations, etc. Chances are, though, that in a few weeks, I won’t care. It’ll all just be as it is, and all of that other stuff won’t even matter.

It’ll be my new baby, and the older one will be just as foreign as this was today.

My aged, monstrous, super-sized laptop is still running, and while not as spry as it used to be, it’s hanging on. I’ll use it for a few more things, and probably end up keeping it around as long as it wants to go on.

But for now, I’m going to make it as happy as I can by retiring its traveling days; it gets to live out the rest of its life in my apartment, not needing to move very far again.

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