Let’s be honest with ourselves (and by ourselves, I mean me) – I haven’t done a whole lot in the past few weeks. Sure, I’ve played with a few attempts at productivity, but those were mostly dalliances in an otherwise flat landscape of nothingness. I’m coming to terms with that, and I’m feeling ok with this. I mean, I needed some time off (he says, trying to justify things), so I don’t feel bad that I took a little for myself. This is how it’s supposed to be; work hard, play hard.
Unfortunately, work is going to come upon me again very soon. This past Monday, I began my 5 week online statistics course. Sure, it’s pretty easy, but any class which has the midterm at the end of week two is a bit of a rush. I’m marginally ahead on the homework (and looking to get even further ahead in the coming days). If this were the only thing that was going on in my life, I’d slam dunk it, make a rude gesture at the opposing team, and move on.
If only life were so easy.
Starting this coming Monday, I have what amounts to a 5 hour playing gig every day with concerts every three days. If think were all I were doing, it would be a slam dunk as well. I’m also going out of town next weekend (college reunions whoo!), and if that were all I were doing, no biggie. Unfortunately, it’s all coming down at once, and I’m still at rest.
I’m a body at rest. I’ve had no force applied to me in the past few weeks, and the little divot I’ve created on my leather couch is rather comfy. My schedule is light, my thoughts are fleeting, and no one really expected a whole lot of me until last week. I was getting used to that, and my brain was beginning to enjoy being at rest.
Bodies in motion. Sweet, sweet motion.
Looking at my calendar (which I hate doing) reminds me about all of the things coming up – funnily enough, after the end of June, I’m clear again for another month. It’s literally a 3 weeks flurry of events. If this kind of thing had happened during the year, when I was already in motion, I’d be swinging from vine to vine like Tarzan, only occasionally launching head first into a tree. From my present, immobile state, things seem complicated, cluttered, and overwhelming. For the last week, I’ve tried to grab a toe hold and push myself up the mountain of productivity. Unfortunately, all I’ve managed to do is make a little lateral motion.
Luckily (I think), I’m about to have a force applied to me that’ll require me to be in motion. It’s not like I can ignore hours of rehearsal in the coming weeks – it’s going to happen whether I’m ready for it or not. The wonderful part about these kinds of commitments is that I have to be there. They happen to me, not because of me. I’m like Harry Potter and the Suicidal Rehearsal Schedule; I’m not the catalyst, I’m just a participant. What I’m worried about is that I’m not going to have any movement going into it. Instead of being like a gentle push from behind to keep moving a little faster, it’ll be like a large wrecking ball slamming into my self. Sure, I’ll be moving again, but the initial impact may be a bit unpleasant.
This’ll be my third year doing this gig, and I always look forward to it; despite my howlings of protestation, I do enjoy playing music when I’m not hyperventilating about it.